Kids and Oak Trees
I really like nature. I think that means a lot of different things to different people, so I’ll clarify: I find so much awe and beauty in things that haven’t been manipulated by our human species. I like us humans too, but there is so much we don’t understand, yet cannot admit.
I read a story recently about a family trying to save a 550 year old oak tree that had experienced far more on their property than they ever would. The tree was splitting down the middle--it’s large, old branches pulling heavily in opposite directions. The split was witnessed by soldiers in the Canadian army who were occupying the property during WWII, and was remedied with a chain from a tank (yes, the entire story is truly worth reading, but for the sake of my message, I’m summarizing). By the time this family moved onto the property the chain didn’t seem to be enough, so a specialist, the most special of all Oak tree specialists, was hired to consult. He noted a mark low on the tree’s trunk where a branch had begun growing but was shaved off. I know little about tree pruning, but I’ve heard and abided by this recommendation myself: shave off those low branches, cross branches, or any that don’t look quite right. It seemed fine for the small, decorative tree’s in my landscaping.
According to the special specialist, oak trees can live over a thousand years (I did not realize this), and they have strategies ingrained in them to allow for such survival. One strategy is to grow low branches that can reach down to the ground and support the top heavy tree once it becomes overwhelming - around 300-400years old. We intervene, thinking we know what’s best for this tree that outlives us, but we don’t know. There’s so much we don’t know.
This story made me think of human children, who also have many strategies ingrained in them for survival. Really cool strategies that we don’t fully understand, but we act as though we do, taking over all of their choices and controlling their behaviors as best we can. Including what, when, where, and how they eat. Children certainly need help from parents to obtain food and nourishment, but they have strategies ingrained in them to determine what they eat, and how much they eat. Sometimes the way they do this looks strange or not quite right to us: like branches growing too low, but if we intervene in the wrong way, we can do a lot of damage to their relationship with food, their health, and their emotional well-being.
The oak tree will probably survive another few centuries with the right treatment plan, according to the specialist. Luckily, we can reverse damage to our children’s relationship with food as well. The earlier we can recognize a problem, the better. Below is a list of potentially problematic signs of an unhealthy relationship with food:
Frequent dieting or even just frequent talking about dieting
Food seems to be an obsession - always thinking about and planning the next thing to eat.
Using food rules that aren’t reasonable, or too many food rules
Reliance on calorie counting. It can be educational to know how many calories are in your favorite foods, or how many calories you get in the average day, but counting calories to control them is unhealthy
Feeling uncomfortable eating in front of others
Frequent use of zero calorie foods and drinks: diet soda, sugar free jello, gum, etc. With the goal of tricking your body into eating less.
If you need any assistance with identifying red flags in your or your children’s relationship with food, or getting back on track, please reach out: homegrownnutritionllc@gmail.com.
